People Like Movies?

The air of reminescense seems to surround my friends on the topic of movies. Wait, does that sentence make sense? Whatever. Care I only do when the wind strikes the third spire of the mill.

Cool movies!

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Blue Crush ("Three Girls, One Passion"): This recent, bio-flic about a young woman's drive to success actually ends with the protagonist not winning it all. But she does surf the perfect wave. And isn't that what it's all about?

Oh, and the movie only focuses on one girl (Kate Bosworth, looking as hott as she ever will) so don't worry about the plot getting too convoluted and having too many characters. Despite what the tagline promises, one girl with one passion is enough. Besides, the ocean takes the place of like a hundred characters.

Crossroads ("Dreams Change, Friends are Forever"): Just like Ms. Bosworth, Britney shines here at her ultimate hottness. The real opening scene (because I'm not counting the flashback sequence, which actually serves more as a prequel than an actual scene) features Britney dancing on the bed in her underwear. Already the plot has so many places to go, and we wonder where our imagination will be taken next.

Uh oh! Here comes her dad, Dan Aykroyd! Don't worry. He's not here to bust any ghosts. He just wants to bust Britney's butt into college. Silly Dan. Don't you realize that dreams change?! Britney wants to have sex, write a poem that turns into the hit song "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman," and watch her friend have a miscarriage. Her dreams of college are as dead as your relevance to the age group to which this movie panders. An age group which I have no shame in proudly joining when it comes to films like this.

Mean Girls ("Watch Your Back") : Wait a second. This movie was actually kinda good. Of course, so was Blue Crush. Fear not, Crossroads. I'll never truly reveal your less-than-perfect identity. You don't have to (drum roll)... watch your back!

Oh, and Lindsay Lohan is also at her ultimate hottness in this movie.

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Well, that's all the movies I remember seeing in life. So here's a three-step plan to making movies I remember:

1.) Include a girl age 17-21 who is at the peak of her hottness. Remember that hottness is written with two t's when it really is hot.
2.) Have a couple of other girls in there (ages 17-21) who may not be super-lookers, but occasionally bend over.
3.) Keep it simple. This is where Crossroads kind of lost me. I knew that in Blue Crush it was Girl vs. Wave. I knew that in Mean Girls it was girls who were mean. Crossroads, as one can tell from the title, is just too deep. Crossroads implies four different directions! I want two at most. North and South. Cold and hot. Penguins and reggae. When West and East are included, things get too complicated and have trouble progressing.

So when a person travels horizontally, they still change where they are, but the weather doesn't change? I don't get it, and I don't think anyone does.

(Why are there 8 pointy things on this compass?)