Things and Things

Although some of you out there may believe that the title of this post refers to taking an empty soda bottle from lunch and stuffing it with as much trash as you possibly can, it doesn't. But the "Fill the Bottle" game is awesome.

Moving on, the things and things that I'm referring to here are nothing more than "Things that I like a lot right now." In fact, I like them so much that I haven't updated this webbery in almost a week! I'm having too much fun!

Oh, and I'm still in partial hiding since the discovery of Jigsaw's Blog.

Anyway, here you go: A list of things that I like right now, Why I like them, and Why it's important to the world that I like them.

Thing I like: The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide

Why I like it: As much as I am embarassed that I only became aware of this literature due to a Hollywood movie, I am even more not embarassed that I read it. In fact, I'm not embarassed at all! I'm not even embarassed that I had glitter on my face yesterday (true story, don't ask). In any case, this collection of every Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's novel is full of genius and hilarious insights into modern societal inefficiences, all packaged into a captivating and endearing story about humanity and alienity. And no, I didn't copy that from the book jacket.
Why it's important to the world that I like it: This world in which I love this book is actually only one of a series of parallel Earths. Many of these Earths were actually destroyed to make room for an intergalactic bypass, but a few of them remain - the few in which I love this book! If I didn't love this book, it's very possible that the parallel universes would converge, time would fold itself back up to the point at which all the other Earths were destroyed, and my friendship with all of you might never have existed.

Thing I like: Animal Crossing

Why I like it: Because I'm an idiot. Even though I've had this Gamecube game for two years, I still get excited about waking up each day, heading down to the trading post, and seeing what kind of furniture is for sale. And let's not talk about the New Year's Eve that I was at home and actually went to check on the animals' celebration of the event (though I still have the free noisemaker I received for attending!)
Why it's important to the world that I like it: Who will weed the fictional village if I don't?! Who will go around and dig up fossils for the museum display?! Who will deliver Chow the Panda's glasses case to Tiara the Rhino?! Nobody will. The political, cultural, and emotional fabric of magical animal villages everywhere will deteriorate, and we will all be a little less happy.

Thing I like: Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Why I like it: Because I'm even more of an idiot. This farming simulation (also for Gamecube) is, in my opinion, a step back from Harvest Moon 64. In HM 64 I was able to enter my vegetables and animals into competitions, for which I would receive prizes and, if lucky, product upgrades (like golden milk). From what I've seen playing into the autumn quarter of HM: AWL, I can't do any of this anymore. The seasonal festivals consist not of competitions, but of sitting around the "artist" Gustafa's hut and listening to him play his guitar. I wouldn't mind such a festival if the cutscenes were a little more entertaining and interactive, but they're not, so I do. Oh, and I hate Gustafa. Whenever I try to engage him in conversation, he says something pretentious like, "The fall is the perfect season for me to write poems in." Not only have I not seen his poems, but I doubt that someone who ends his sentences in prepositions can write even a semi-passable poem. I hate him so much.

What a bastard!

Why it's important to the world that I like it: Pretty much the same reason it's important for me to like Animal Crossing. Just replace "magical animal villages" with "magical seaside farming communities." And take out the Chow the Panda and Tiara the Rhino part, although I think that's pretty obvious.

Thing I like: My cats.

Why I like them: When I hide around the corner and poke my head out, they run for me and make a little "mew" sound. It's pretty cute, but then I get mad that I'm so bad at hiding around corners and I cry.
Why it's important to the world that I like them: It is written in the hieroglyphs of ancient Egpyt that cats will one day rise to rule us all with an iron and litter-scented fist. The longer I can entertain them with silly little games, the longer we have to build the feline death ray.

Thing I like: Having a job that I can do on the Internet.
Why I like it: Tutor.com is going to pay me to tutor kids from my own room. You'll understand how great this is when you replace "tutor kids" with "pretend to tutor kids but really ignore them and enjoy everything I've listed above." And also replace "my own room" with "a magical animal village."
Why it's important to the world that I like it: If I didn't work at home, I'd hold some office job where I'd attempt to undermine the entire corporate structure of America. This attempt would, of course, succeed in two to three months, and the American economy would fall apart. None of you would be able to afford food, so you would come to me begging for the virtual tomatoes I just grew in Harvest Moon. "I'm sorry," I would declare. "You came a bit late for the fall harvest. But here's a mushroom I picked in the forest. Enjoy."