Two is a Number

Apologies again for the delay. I must say that it's difficult keeping up with the pace, especially now that I'm webbery-ing for two. And no, I'm not talking about Jigsaw's Blog. Who knows where that maniacal "killer" lurks? I sure don't, but I would guess Hamburg. I noticed a bit of that Hamburg roll when he pronounced his "r"s in the last biopic. Not that Hamburg rolls are too discernable from Kaiser rolls.

Phonetics joke!

Anyway, here's why I'm now webbery-ing for two. Wil Wheaton, infamous for his role as Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation, was singled out by Forbes as having the best celebrity blog out there.

I'm a spaceboy!

I headed over to WilWheaton.net to check out the buzz, feel the beat, and all that other cool lingo that kids say nowadays when they go somewhere fun. Any urge I felt to connect to our youth, however, was quickly dissipated upon my arrival.

No written post since September 29?! Is this the kind of blogging timetable that wins you awards from Forbes?! Because if that is so, I would like to submit a hilarious entry from my "Here's to Goin' That-a-Way" series that chronicled a typical journey along the Oregon Trail. An excerpt from June 15, 1846 (I chose to head out in April):

My party seems to have arrived at Independence Rock. If you would permit me to speak in such a fashion, this trail is getting HARDER by the minute. Ah well. At least we are able to refill our rations here. It is almost as if we can start over with a new SLATE. Good morrow!

Haha wow does that take me back. I was at the peak of my game, with the rock jokes and all. Now I'm stuck with phonetics jokes about rolling "r"s. Ah well. At least the "r"s aren't ROCKing and rolling!

Back to Wesley Crusher. I noticed that he did at least post a hilarious picture on December 9th. It was a picture of a menu, and then...chuckle...the item on the menu was "Freedom Toast," and then...giggle...the caption said..."With Breakfast or against it!" Ha! Alright. I'll agree that that deserves awards.

But I demand more of it! Which is why I have taken to ghost-writing some entries for him. I decided to appeal to his Star Trek fanbase, while still holding to my webbery-ing strengths. He hasn't published my stuff yet for whatever reason, but here's a preview:

Hi I'm Wes Wheaton. I played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek. Klingons are attacking me! Help! No I shouldn't scream! I must stay strong! Klingons take advantage of people who GRAVEL...whoops! I mean grovel! Yay for Star Trek!

Wow. I don't want to turbocharge my own phaser, but I'm pretty sure that these kind of contributions will keep him at the top of the Forbes list for quite a while. If not, then I'm definitely against it. No, not breakfast! Forbes!

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