Smoke and Reruns

Smoke: The TV may have told you how mean the fires and smoke are being to people where I live. It's true. Example:

I was skipping to work today, bag lunch in one hand and flowers in the other, when a wisp of smoke tapped me on the lung. "Hey Harry," it wispered. "Whatcha got in that lunch bag?"

"Oh, just a tuna sandwich and some Gushers," says me. "I made the tuna just like my mom does!"

"Really?" said smoke. "You mean your DUMB mom!"

"Hey! What'd ya say that fer? My mom is smart!"

"My mistake. I just figured she had to be dumb seeing how STUPID you are!"

"Waaaaah! Why why why?"

"I know how much you like to eat your tuna with a cool glass of fizzy-pop, so give me the money you were gonna buy the fizzy-pop with!"

"Noooooooo! Help me someone! Anyone!"

But with that the smoke was gone. I opened my wallet in search of the five and dime I was gonna use to buy a fizzy-pop. Gone. Replaced with a note:

I'm mean. - Smoke.
PS Look at your flowers. They're dead.


Reruns: What's the last thing you ever want to hear when driving through the smokey countryside? A BBC News repeat on the radio of course! This is the second night in a row that I have heard stories of Australian opal farmers and Indian "short-people" clubs (you have to be 4 ft. 6 in. to join). They're nice stories, but I think we all know that once you've heard one opal-farming story, you've heard 'em all.

Except for the one about about the opal-farmer that beat up the smoke bully.