As fun and exciting as it has been to play X-Men Legends II (Now in stores!) and True Crime: New York City (In stores November 15! Reserve your copy now!), I must say that they grew quite boring over time. I mean, not really boring, cuz they have excellent replay value (Buy 2 in case one of your discs dirties!). But boring enough that I get really excited when I play any other game.
So if I got married, my wife would probably entertain me a little bit longer than most video games (How long does it take to mop the floor?), but the replay value would inevitably dwindle. I could always come back and give her a go once in a while, but most of the time she'd just be stuck on the shelf, collecting dust, watching me play with my new wife.
Anyway, here's 2 more anti-marriage factors in my bitterness:
Religion
It's gonna take a (chuckle) miracle to get me to partake in a serious religious ceremony of any type in the near future. Tell JC to come down here and convince me. The conversation would go thusly:
Jesus: Hey, Harry. I've heard you're considering rejecting the sacraments.
Harry: Actually, I'm rejecting the entire religion. I consider it to be a perversion of cultural history, persevering primarily through blood and fear.
Jesus: Oh, so, you don't really believe in me?
Harry: I believe you were probably a good guy, and your preachings are very humanitarian.
Jesus: But you don't believe I'm God?
Harry: Nope.
Jesus: ...
Harry: Want some coffee? Krishna's coming over soon.
Jesus: Sure. Whoa! Is that X-Men Legends II?
Harry: Sure is! It's available for all systems!
Jesues: Can I be Rogue?
Harry: Of course. Figures you would choose the belle from the Bible Belt!
Both: Hahahahahhaha!
High five!
Dreams
I know that lots of girls dream of their weddings when they're little. Well guess what my recurring dreams were when I was little. One was that the cat and the fiddle would take me up to the moon and then drop me and I would fall and fall and fall until I woke up. The other was that there would be burglars upstairs so I would run downstairs to tell my parents who would have newspapers over their faces until they pulled them down to reveal they were skeletons and then I'd run upstairs and downstairs and up and down until I woke up.
And don't tell me that I'm using the word "dream" out of context. I've gone through too much falling and running to be told that.
4 comments:
Your dreams sounds like they go from very exciting to very dull to waking up. You should snazz the second half up with a light show.
Harry, when you and Pat and Chris and whoever else get married, don't worry, you can get married without a religious ceremony. It's true! I've seen it happen multiple times. (Not usually with several dudes getting married, but I'm sure it works fine.)
Have you been dating girls and getting sick of them in short spans of time without telling us?
I can only assume "if I got married" implies "...again", as I'm pretty sure we're married, you chode.
The running up and down stairs dream did get kind of boring, but the falling one was freaky all the way for us non-rollercoasterers. It even ended with a fall off the bed and into the bedside trashcan once.
I'm not sure I can separate marriage from religion, and I don't know if I believe in the concept bioligically. So I'll have to get married somewhere non-biological, like a robot church.
"Have you been dating girls and getting sick of them in short spans of time without telling us?"
I work at a video game company.
Pat, you changed our facebook relationship first, harlot.
"'Have you been dating girls and getting sick of them in short spans of time without telling us?'
I work at a video game company."
So yes, then.
(Girls are slightly different than X-Men Legends II... slightly. You may not get sick of them.)
But yeah, I know a guy in Madison who got ordaned via some fake religion online and can legally marry people (he's marrying two of my friends this winter, actually), and he's about as non-religious as anyone I have ever met. I watched him draw a baby on his fat, hairy stomach, then draw its abortion. If you ever want to get married, I'll hook you up.
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