I do nudity, too.
I get all mascoty when I'm nude.Tonight was either the apex of my life or the antapex (what a word! *cough*) I know I introed with the same kind of set-up last night, mentioning I was both depressed and elated, but this time I'm for real. Last time, I was only kind of real, like a dog ghost. I was also kind of hissy, creating a voice for the soul purpose of "hating on" (I can be urban, too) television bloggers. So I guess I was more of a cat ghost. But now that I'm fully apparated, I can separate myself from last night's vendettas and move on with an honest desire to communicate my new divergent realities.
By the way, I maintain that V for Vendetta is the greatest love story of our movie generation. Unless you're a hot girl and you didn't like it. Cuz then it sucked. What do you like? (note my charisma)
And thus we reach the topic d'noche (how cosmopolitan!) - hot girls. Tonight I called in to a TomGreen.com show entitled "Girl Talk." The format is a bit complex but I'll try to summarize. 4 hot girls hang around Tom Green's LA house, drink, eat bagels, and take calls. It's confusing, I know, and I'm sure you have questions, so I'll answer them in turn. Umm...guy in the red shirt:
Guy in the Red Shirt
I was wondering why you - a seemingly well-adjusted young man with a college education - would call in to such a show?
An excellent question, and this is where I become uncertain on the current extremity, good or bad, of my life. One explanation I've theorized is that I'm still somewhat drawn into the whole Hollywood scene. I hate so much of it, and my people told me I had to get out before I became the next River Phoenix; nevertheless, there are hot girls there. And when I see them in real life I molt, so I need to call in to their shows instead. Additionally, I love the thought that I called Tom Green's house tonight. By no means does this compare to the aforementioned Chris's pubescent call to Alex Mack's house, but it's still a fun piece of kitsche. Umm... guy in the green shirt:
Guy in the Green Shirt
What exactly did you talk about when you were on the show?
I actually got to chat for about 5 minutes, as I was in the super-minority of callers that didn't call in only to scream a profanity. I asked them why they thought Angelina Jolie was hot, which led to a brief look at Kirsten Dunst's attractiveness, which unrelatedly led to video game talk, and so on. I wasn't very witty, as it's difficult talking on the phone to 4 tipsy girls who aren't really paying attention and are also hot. Also, to those of you who don't know me, my voice kind of resembles the sound effect heard when Link opens a treasure chest, so that made things hard, too. Umm... guy in the green shirt who is wearing pants:
Guy in the Green Shirt who is wearing pants
Do you happen to have a transcript of the conversation your friend Chris once had with Larisa Oleynik?
You're referring of course to the actress who played Alex Mack. Unfortunately I do not have what you desire; however, I do have a proposed transcript of how a phone conversation between those two would unfold in the modern day. Read:
Chris: Hey, uhh...
Alex Mack: Yes?
Chris: Uhhh, is this Larisa?
Alex Mack: Who is this?
Chris: Uhh, I just want you to know that I live with my girlfriend now so I don't think I should be stalking you anymore.
Alex Mack: You found my number and called in the middle of the night to tell me that?
Chris: Oh my god were you asleep? I'm sorry. Go back to bed.
Chris, you fool. Thanks for making me feel better about my lack of phone prowess, even if your quoted conversation is only hypothetical. I think we have time for one more question. Umm... guy who's painting mustard mustaches on those other guys:
Guy who's painting mustard mustaches on those other guys
I believe earlier in your post you were making parenthetical notes to hint at the qualities you'd bring to a word-based magazine. What ever happened to that bit?
A revealing question, but an acceptable one. I actually joined the staff of Phontastic! about midway through the post, but when I mentioned I'd talked to hot girls things got complicated. My fellow editors argued that hot girls are the greatest enemy a man of words can have. Their beauty outshines even the glossiest dictionary, and a single look from their eyes can steal syllables straight from the mouths of men who would otherwise be great. The editors have a point, I concede, but I left anyway. I just can't stop talking to hot girls. So now I work for the gun magazine You're Dead instead.
Unless you're a hot girl and you don't like that, I mean.
According to research, hot girls might wear something like this.
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