BLOGG'D!
(I don my wicked cool sideways hat and the post begins...)
Word. So me and Pat and Mike - maybe you should call us the Devil's Rejects...SIKE! - were hangin' out in my 'rents bottom floor.
(I turn my hat frontwards, already disgusted by the jargon of today's pop culture...)
Anyway, we rented Wes Craven's Cursed, featuring the ugly and adopted step-child of horror movies, werewolves. I take responsibility for this disaster in that I held the final vote on this choice. I was hoping it would be scary enough to invoke some serious cuddling, but I was wrong. It invoked something on an entirely different level...
Bird jokes!
Such was the quality of the movie, that half-way through we began to entertain ourselves with aviary humor. The situation actually unfolded as a result of the following, HILARIOUS conversational gem, featuring me as Person 1 and Pat as Person 2:
Person 1: How do you get to a town called Wolves?
Person 2: Where?
Person 1: Wolves!
Get it?! Ha! I knew I was on a roll, so I moved us into the bird category with this next number I had actually prepped earlier on my parents (hoping I would at last gain their respect):
What does a bird say when he needs to know if there's any vacancy in a birdhouse?
Can you SPARROW room?
Ha! My parents still thought I was failure, but the joke was a solid hit. It was now time for all to join in:
What did the bird say to the used car salesman?
You're a ROBIN me blind!
What did the southern bird say to her guests when they arrived from their long journey?
ORIOLE hungry! (Clarification: "Oriole" needs to be pronounced like "are ya'll" to make this work)
How many birds can fly?
TOUCAN!
We were really feeling it. Christina Ricci and her werewolf buddies onscreen were a distant background to the glory that was our bird jokes. We were flying high. Nothing could shoot us down. As long as I didn't break formation...
What would a bird say is the past tense of "swin"?
SWAN!
Boooooooooooooo.
For a moment we were giants. For a second we were kings.
And for that I thank Wes Craven, more than I ever have before.
(Finally, an excuse to post the Orioles mascot.)
6 comments:
"What did the southern bird say to her guests when they arrived from their long journey?
ORIOLE hungry! (Clarification: "Oriole" needs to be pronounced like "are ya'll" to make this work)"
FUCK! That's funny.
ok, i got one - so two birds fly into a bar window..
here's my humble contribution:
what does a bird have to do when its unprepared for a test?
Wing it!
that last post was me, michael holland
This is me doing an impression of me doing an impression of the stuffed cat from "sabrina the teenage witch"... Just imagine the voice and you're there
I would just like to say that Person 2 clearly saved that awful werewolf joke.
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