Hark! Ready your ears!

Good morrow, all. It is I, Fenimore J. Anderson, author of the thesis "Why Zombies Intrigue Us." You may have read excerpts of this genius work (a work which is created by a genius, such as I) at this very web diary at an earlier date. Let me warn you that if you did so, you did so illegally! No one at the Westgloushire Archives was given the permission to release that work until after I had either died or granted my blessing. I can assure you that legal action will be taken and decided in my favor, thanks to my immense penal knowledge.

It seems that the documents in question were released because I was thought to have died at the hands of vampires. "Blood stains" appeared at the end of my prose, and to some idiot archivist this was a sign that my subject matter, vampires, had attacked and killed me. Ha! Doesn't anybody read anything in their daily papers besides the funnies (the working man's humor)? Apparently not, for if they did they would surely know that I am not only a great scholar, but a great suspense novelist as well. I ended my thesis as such in an attempt to enlighten via entertainment. Now I realize that my grandeur is so gross in size that my humor is forgotten by those whose menial brains have limited capacity. Peasants!

It is lucky for all of you that I am sending this message to the owner of this web diary with a demand that it be posted forthwith! If the world truly thought I had perished, I can only imagine the aura of hopelessness that would embrace the peoples. A world without its genius is comparable only to a molasses jar without its molasses. Empty. It is fortuitous for all that I was searching for the origins of the phrase "Good morrow" and was misdirected to this pathetic site.

What's that you say? How could my search for "Good morrow" have led me to this site when said phrase has never appeared here before this day? What a laughable question! The very fact that you asked it proves that you do not even near the genius level intelligence necessary to comprehend my journeys.

Good day!

- Fenimore J. Anderson