Eating grilled cheese sandwiches in the shower is delicious!
Surely, you, too, wish to experience this ethereal joy, so I will provide you with the circumstances that made this experience so astounding:
1. I was hungry. It is possible that this wonder is so amazing that even a full stomach will accept it, but hunger is a precursor to certain enjoyment.
2. I used deli-style Monterey Jack that had been slightly aged by refrigeration. The age made the cheese a bit more solid, which is essential. You don't want a cheese that's a breaking risk in the shower.
3. I surrounded the cheese with two pieces of oatnut bread. At first I was hesitant to do this, seeing as how the nuts had the potential to take away from the main taste of cheese, yet in the end there were no regrets. The nuts so complimented the cheese, which so complimented the oat, which, of course, was coupled with the nuts, that a true communism of flavor fulfilled every Marxist's utopian dream.
4. I microwaved on high for 15 seconds. Again, I feared weakening the cheese tension. I don't really know if I was right in this fear, because it was never realized, but I do really know that my evasion of it created exactly the cheese density I desired.
* My one regret in this creation was my choice of beverage. I chose to drink ice water, thinking this would perfectly compliment a hot shower without taking anything away from the sandwich itself. There was no negative effect on my experience due to this, and it's a very safe choice if you're afraid of making a horrible choice. But ice water really adds nothing to the experience besides brief refreshment.
And that's about it. Take off your clothes, get in the shower with your sandwich, and enjoy!
...
Wait! No! I forgot to tell you the most important part. DO NOT GET THE SANDWICH WET! Your body should be wet, not the sandwich. I suggest the "back to stream position," in which you face away from the shower head, blocking the water with your body. You can concentrate on full body cleansing after you've returned from heaven.
Bon appetit!
5 comments:
I like it, just like I like GRILLED cheese. Who the f-bomb makes grilled cheese in the microwave??
Alright so maybe it was more of a "melted cheese" sandwich. Still delicious!
Brammer, you've hit a new level of lazy-assedness. Microwaving a grilled cheese? For shame.
ah crap i got cheese stuck in the drain. jess is going to KILL me.
h.bram you genius! thanks for the message. hope life in b-field is well.
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