I'm not sure I wanted to gotcha that good, though. It's just that I've been a bit upset lately. You all want to know why I'm upset, right? Thanks for your concern, but it's really none of your business.
...
Fine I'll talk. Now stop crying.
1. I've realised more and more that I don't like most people very much. Christians and Muslims and all whining about cartoons and marriages that have no real effect on them. Atheists whining about God not caring about them. Wah wah wah. (That's crying onomatopoeia, not a disappointing trumpet sound).
You guys who visit here are lucky I do like you, even if it's only because I plan on one day turning this webiary into a net-store where I can sell really cool t-shirts and you'll be expected to buy them. "I'm with not so stupid." Get it?!
2. I've come to above realisation via my job, which is tutoring online for a company I won't name anymore in case they are affiliated with the mob. Because I'm a new employee, I have a mentor who monitors my sessions with students and criticizes them every week. My mentor is a witch, but one of those "nice" witches who pretends she isn't looking down on you. Like the ones who give you love potions even though they know that love will only get you into more trouble. I'm not sure that makes sense.
Anyway, every week I get told I'm not professional enough in my typing or "online lingo" or some shite. I also get criticized for telling kids what is wrong with their grammar. I'm supposed to help them get to the answer themselves or some new age crap like that, which is basically impossible online.
That's right. I, the hippie, do not support something new age. And since I'm on that track, I don't support yoga either. I know very little about it, but it seems cultish and painful and irritating. And hello, we already have a word in our language that sounds like yoga. It's called Yogi, and it's the name of my favorite bear.
I cannot emphasize enough how much I do not support the unnamed company I work for. They train their tutors to be robots who give no real knowledge. (Can I use the word "who" with robots? Teach me, Will Smith of I, Robot). If you want your kid to have a tutor who isn't ever allowed to show personality or type anything creative, I say just hire one of the writers from Everybody Loves Raymond. Zing!
3. I'm actually not upset at all about this next thing, but the ante has been upped to almost unreachable degrees by Chad Igo of Igos vs. Suburbia. The picture of him as an Apple-like product had to have required at least five times the effort I ever want to put into this...
No. Wait. I do want to put the effort in. I want to be somebody. To make a difference. You can't tell me what to do, anonymous tutoring service! I'm gonna be a real person! I'm gonna take a cool picture of myself and post it!
Below is a picture I took today after putting in a ton of effort and thought. I figured you, person I like, might want to know what Brookfield, Wisconsin, looks like in the middle of winter, so I trudged all the way to its highest peak and snapped the following shot. What effort I put in! Good day!
The Caribbean never looks as good as it does from Brookfield.
3 comments:
harry,
i want to be somebody too. i used to be somebody. now im an office boy. nadie me ama! NADIE!!!!
i want to be special. a dancer, a princess, a boyfriend of paris hilton! hold me.
love mp
hey harry. you need yo whip the tutoring company into shape.
ps i am coming into town march 16th;)
Harry, I just opened up Google earth to verify the accuracy of your statement about the Caribbean, and I couldn’t find it anywhere in that giant lake. Oh and your hometown doesn’t come in very clear, are you Brookfieldians trying to hide terrorist bunkers and precious oil veins? Or is Wisconsin not the happening hot-spot of tourism I thought it was?
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