I'm trying to warm up to type some more of my book - now titled The Things I'm Missing In Life: Sex, Smurfs, and Other S-Words - so I'm going to use this blog as a warm-up pitch.
By the way, warm-up pitch can be interpreted either baseball-wise or soccer-wise, and probably was interpreted variantly depending on your specific taste.
Interesting... mayhaps I'll write my whole next chapter using phrases that are interpreted differently by different people. Then nobody will think they've read the same book as their neighbor, and when they buy a copy for their neighbor who claims they haven't read it, they'll realize far too late that they now own multiple copies of my book. Dollars in my pocket!
Dollars in my pocket (my interpretation): American money in my pants.
Dollars in my pocket (an oceanographer's interpetation): Sand dollars in the pocket of the Marianas Trench.
Dollars in my pocket (a candy-loving slut's interpretation): A Payday in her vagina.
By the way again, that title I mentioned up there isn't actually the title of my book. I lied because I do that sometimes.
Time for a paragraph exercise! I am now going to type for one minute about the weekend I spent in Minnesota, not lifting my hands from the keyboard until the time is up.
Ready.... go!
First we went in a car to the cities and sang about how much Jesus loves children in Spanish and we also talked about the monkey head that my grandma bought my sister for Christmas. It really sounds like it says hello to you when you turn it on and it really seems like a real monkey head. Actually no I lied it's a chimp head. I like to pet its hair when nobody's looking and pretend that I'm it's mother. Would you like some cheese, little monkey I mean chimp? You wouldn't? Well you'd better eat it before...
TIME!
So that was my weekend in Minnesota. Let me just look over what I wrote for a second...
Uh huh. Uh huh. Ohhhhh. Gross! Uh huh. COOOOL!
Seems pretty accurate. I think I'm ready to work on my book now. It's new title is The Army: An Investigation into the use of Chimp Heads in World War II.
I lied again.
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5 comments:
Hey, nice. This is the first time that "Next blog" thing produced something interesting.
Cooool! Siiiiick! Ewwwwwwww!
"By the way again, that title I mentioned up there isn't actually the title of my book. I lied because I do that sometimes."
Amen to that, ya damn liar.
Thank you, guy from Finland. I feel a little like Conan now.
Pat, I'm sorry for lying.
Sike.
Ah, Brammer, you genius. Want to watch the super bowl sunday? I'll call you anyway...
all those times you mention the chimp head in your paragraph must have been directed toward me because i was constantly quoting said chimp head and i was OBVIOUSLY the apple of your eye this weekend.
RIGHT?!
"are we DUN here?"
thanks soooo much for visiting!!!
CHANEY, YOU SAID YOU WERE COMING UP HERE THIS WEEKEND! DON'T YOU BACK OUT!
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